Here you are, staring at the seemingly insurmountable summit that is the conclusion of your undergraduate career. Take a deep breath (or ten), center yourself, and commence the climb. You want to impact lives, but your greatest fear is that the things you do won’t matter; get rid of that negativity and do all of the things anyway. Don’t take yourself so seriously! All of the energy you put into looking like you have it all together is getting you nowhere, and, to let you in on a little secret, NOBODY has it all together, so you’re in good company.
The above are things that I wish I would’ve let sink in before I started my internship in the fall. This past year has certainly been one of the most challenging, but rewarding times in my life, and I had the opportunity to learn from some knowledgable educators who were more than happy to share their resources with me to help me be successful. I spent a lot of time not breathing and thinking my heart was going to fall out of my chest, but I made it!
My biggest worry was that I wouldn’t be perfect. I wouldn’t craft the perfect lesson plan that would engage my students. I wouldn’t know the perfect way to deal with classroom management issues. I wouldn’t have a perfectly articulate and honest conversation with my MT when I was having trouble. Sure, I know perfection is impossible, but as a teacher-in-training I wanted to dazzle everyone that walked into the room and I wanted to make myself distinguishable from my peers (other than the hair, hehe). I’m sure you know where this is going, but you know what? My students, MT, and administrators never expected me to be flawless. In fact, they embraced me even harder because I wasn’t. The most valuable lesson I learned is that perfection doesn’t matter, but connections sure do. My students didn’t know when my lessons didn’t go exactly as planned or that I was having a rough day (most of the time), but they valued my attempts at trying to connect with each one of them every single day. Their appreciation of that also let me know that the things I do do matter, so I must keep pushing forward.
As I move forward and prepare to take over my own classroom this fall, I’m excited. There are still a lot of days that I feel like an imposter, not a real teacher, but I know that the imposter feeling will dissipate as I continue to transition from student/intern to big kid.
In closing, I want to leave you all with a few words that I wrote my seniors on our last day together. I’m holding on to a few of these for myself:
As you go onward to pursue your own endeavors, I will you the courage to conquer each new obstacle you’ll face, a sense of wonder that reminds you to stop and enjoy the little things, perspective to know when it’s time to do something different, adventure to go out there and seize opportunities for travel/experiences, people and places that nourish your soul, especially when you’re running low, and the ability to always be so beautifully, weirdly, and authentically you.
Go bravely onward,
-McD
Jentry, your ability to embark upon a less than comfortable journey, all while remaining 100% true to your authentic self, has been so inspiring to me this year. I was blessed to share the same building with you for our internships and to witness the amazing effects that this quality had on everyone you came in contact with. Your students are incredibly blessed to have you---someone who is comfortable being "uncomfortable"---to lead them. In a world where we are inundated with expectations and specifications on how we should all be, I'm so pleased that you live outside the box and defy any preconceived "mold." Knowing you makes me better, and I know that your students will be better because of you as well.
ReplyDelete"Perfection doesn’t matter, but connections sure do." First off, that is so wise. Second, I feel like it is the lesson from not only our time in the classroom, but my whole two years in the program. I won't remember the grades I tried to get or the 4s I got or didn't on my observations, I will remember learning and sharing experiences and caring for and about my friends, classmates, and mentors.
ReplyDeleteI am honored to have learned from and alongside you the last two years, and I know each student is blessed who gets to have you as their McD. Your care for your kids is evident, but you also have learned how to put in the work to be an amazing educator. You're going to knock Valley Center's socks off, and you're not allowed to forget about me. I am glad that I am able to continue learning from you and supporting you in any way I can long after the tassle moves to the other side. Also, I may steal that last paragraph because it is so motivational.
Love, love, love!! The honesty, the revelations, the gumption to keep moving forward in spite of the oppression of perfectionism. My favorite part is the secret you let us all in on at the beginning: NOBODY has it all together. Yup. Let's just quit pretending. Thanks for writing this ... I'll be sharing it with the class of 2018 soon. I'm glad you're part of this profession; it's going to be a fantastic journey--one that I hope you'll keep sharing with us.
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